Excite!

All set in motion now.
The Last Lap.
And it all boils down to Monday and the papers.
I is very Excite!

Things to look forward to:
1. Catching up with friends and having a life
2. Joshua's Return
3. The Cremaster Pentalogy
4. Chiang Mai
5. Holidaying with Dezzo and wearing furry coats

Thy will be done.

Music in my Head

Linkin Park's Minutes to Midnight was released recently so we went and got ourselves a copy. Seeing as how they have kept fans waiting for almost 2 years for their new album, we could hardly contain our excitement and popped it into the CD player in the car immediately. We were so disappointed. Jibes from friends kept ringing in my head of course "Linkin Park?! Why you like boyband?". I told Dezzo it is only because they are Linkin Park that I will give them another listen on my ipod and see how it goes. To which he said that it would probably sound better.

I listened to it on my way to class last night and I didn't find them half as bad as I had the day before. I have realised this about listening to music using earphones, it allows you to truly appreciate every instrument, the vocals, the beats, and of course in an almost concert hall like setting, apparently from the centre of your head. If my memory from 3rd year neuroscience serves me right, perfectly balanced earphones should map an apparent sound source almost as if from an area slightly above the nasal cavity running down towards the middle of the head.

In any case, I began to understand why audiophiles would fork out ludicrous sums of money for branded ear/headphones or state of the art audio systems to allow one's self that perfect auditory experience. I remember going to this advertising guru's house party with Dezzo, which housed a state of the art audio system, absolutely hideous I thought, with 2 giant nautilus shell-like contraptions on each side (sorry I just don't get these overtly avant garde designs). We sat on the 2 chairs in the middle facing the shells and listened. The sound was oaky, had a deep resonance and I could hear it coming from that special place in the centre of my head. Looking back, that system must have been very good. Heh. Well, till I can afford some kickass earphones with a good range for bass, I'm happy with my ipod provided ones for now.

Earphones have saved Linkin Park from getting the boot from DJ Sideshowjo :p

Thank You

Circa Early 2003

Happy 30th, Gillian!

(A Better Photo from Marshmallowtoasties)

It was so good to wind down after the madness of the morning and celebrate with friends, food and cake. Happy Birthday Gillie Billie! You'll always be our 16 year old convent girl at heart.

1 down

In celebration of the last I will see of entrance exams in a long while (hopefully), I made a butter cake, filled with fat, cholesterol and tonnnnnnnes of sugar. Raaaaar!
We wondered where that piece went and followed the crumbs...

Meiji

Oh Meiji Milk. The ways I love thee!

My mother was the standard for tough and effective discipline. My brother and I were brought up in a very regimented routine with an extremely steep learning curve. Neighbours and relatives used to threaten to send their children to 'Aunty Lucy's House', or in dire cases, actually do send them to Aunty Lucy for a week or so, to get them sorted.

"Why boy? Don't want to eat fish again? Cry somemore?! I'm sending you to Aunty Lucy! You want!!!?"

Domineering and tyrannical as she was however, she was also the one that injected the only fun we knew of into our childhoods. She was Santa and Headmistress Agatha Trunchbull at the same time. She managed to strike a good balance of give and take I suppose. Well, we turned out pretty decent.

My paternal male cousins, who never cease to poke fun and victimise friends/family always say to me, "Ya ya ya, you're only doing this because this is what your mother wants right?". People from my childhood always naturally seem to assume that my decisions in life are based on what my parents, or rather, my mother wants. Well, fine. Given I was shipped off at 17 and had no say in the matter, that's besides the point. From college on, I've been steering my own course. For as long as I can remember I've always wanted to do medicine. Friends from school/college/university can attest to that. Heck when I was a child I hankered after those microscope and science kits from Toys R Us (which I never got). I however, matured very much later in life and I attribute it to the fact that both my brother and I lead rather sheltered lives. We were spoilt and very lucky children. It was only after joining the work force proper (waitressing stints do not count) did I realise what real life and making money was all about, and how at the end of the day, job satisfaction is paramount to one's well-being. I just could not take...settling and setting myself very small very achievable goals. I needed to do something big. To be very cliche, I needed a paradigm shift. So you know what? Live a little I say! And I'm all the more inspired by people close to me who are truly living and taking steps to come out of their comfort zone and think big, in terms of their careers. All of you inspire me to want the things I want.

My boyfriend Desmond who took the bold leap from Producer to Film Director- You've taught me that hardwork, determination and perseverence brings one the the next level.
Edwin who is embarking on his MBA- You've taught me that it's never to late to come out of one's comfort zone and to not be deterred by having to work hard.
Shifaa who up and left Singapore to do postgrad psych and is working towards a masters- You've taught me about being focused on the goal and and to not veer off the track.
Pam who boldly turned her back on science (not completely yet I think :P) and switched to film- You've taught me to dream Ms. Heng. You truly have.
Christine who is working on a complete career shift into speech pathology- You've thought me to rise above adversity and do whatever it takes.
Edmund who quit a job in banking to do photography and diving- You've thought me that happiness and loving what you do makes one a better person.
Sonny who after finishing philosophy at Cambridge has become a international comic artist- You've thought me that enjoying life while using one's gift is so important.
Marie Sophie who dealt with her boyfriend's death by writing a book and getting published- You've thought me to turn the negative into inner strength to fuel the way.

Just to name a few. If I clear everything and get accepted, I want all of you to know, each and everyone of you gave me strength to dream and achieve. THANK YOU.

Workings of the Universe

So I've been filled with apprehension and indecisiveness regarding sending in my application before the 31st of May. It's inexplicable really, and I was looking for reassurance from someone, anyone.

Then, I messaged Pam. Because I had a dream about her. Nothing eleborate, just simple sms exchanges, and then I realised that I will not alone because I have her. And I was comforted.

Then, I went to the doctor today to get the blood work sorted. For some strange reason, the doctor I always see was not around today. So his wife took over and we had a nice chat. A simple chat. And she told me that her cousin recently commenced study the very same place. And I was comforted.

There are somethings you just don't ignore.
Thank you, for guiding me.

Admin and Red Tape

Scene from 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' featuring fat slobby aliens who work with the Galaxy's Immigration Department asking vistors to fill in form, after form, even forms for filling up new form.

What is it with administration?
I cannot believe that if one comes from a country that has english as its first language and having taken English and English Lit at O-levels and aceing them would still require one to take IELTS/TOFEL, just so all requirements for international applicants would be satisfied. Seriously! Sometimes I wish I have balls of steel like my mother who would fight this to the very end. Application processes are the worst.

Poop

Month old birkenstocks gets its first treatement with steaming pile of shit.
Soles are made of porous cork material which does not bode well when shit is left to fester and turn crusty in musky shoe cabinet overnight. This means stink of shit would have permeated into cork soles and embed itself for future stink release.
Pain is when you think to yourself on the bus this morning that this particular pair of birkies are your most favourite, complete with faux bling, only to smell same stink you smelt last night and realise crusty shit is smeared all over sole and side of sandle.

PLEASE PICK UP ANIMAL POOP LEFT BY YOUR BELOVED PETS WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OUT FOR WALKS.

My remaining clean birkies and I thank you.

It's the Final Countdown

10 more days. 10 more days till I am done with 6 hour long entrance exams.
27 more days. 27 more days till I bid farewell to night classes and end of term exams.
33 more days. 33 more days to Chiang Mai, spending time with my brother and doing jack all.

But meanwhile, focus! Darn it, focus!

We are not particularly good small talkers

Sigur Ros's 2006 interview with Nick Duerden

...A few years to when Sigur Ros, Iceland's biggest band, played the 18,000-capacity Hollywood Bowl. Cruise wasn't the only A-lister there. Brad Pitt was also in attendance, as was Mötley Crüe's Tommy Lee. The X-Files's Gillian Anderson, meanwhile, who has since made it known that she never does yoga to anything but their exquisitely floaty music, went backstage to meet them. And not for the first time, either.

"No, it was the third, maybe fourth time," Sveinsson says, rolling an impossibly anorexic cigarette in the corner of a deserted Reykjavik bar on a freezing Monday night. "She was nice, but we are not particularly good small talkers, and we didn't know what to say. She stopped coming after that. What are you supposed to say to these people?"

The Healing of Silent Memories

Mothers who have had abortions, experienced miscarriages and still births are often not given room to grieve. The Clinical Pastoral Education unit in Mount Alvernia Hospital is holding an informal memorial service in rememberance of the brief life that graced these women, and a short mass for them and their families/friends. If you know of anyone or have personally been through this lonely journey, I would like to extend a very warm welcome to you and ask you to join us. It is going to be a very private, personal and beautiful memorial. I hope to see you & your loved ones there. (To confirm your attendence and for us to put your name down on the list, please contact Geraldine)
Click on the picture to see details large

Kitchenaid Round 5

aka Hip Unfriendly Morsels

In my mother's household, anyone who bakes using butter and sugar should be banished to a land full of organic vegetables, made to wear a furry rabbit suit with inward pointing spikes, starved, whipped into shape with celery sticks, with promises to renounce sugar. it is under these circumstances that I do not get to bake very often, and have to do a ninja and bake under the cover of night or when Lucy has left the building.

Anyway, the process of baking is what fascinates me, not so much the end product. I think it is a residual effect of childhood playdoh joy, effects of which I am trying to regain again for some odd reason. For kitchenaid round 5, I wanted to make some cookies, because there is nothing more comforting than the knowledge that you have a towering cookie jar full of cookies somewhere in your cupboard. I used the recipe named a very promising: Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies from Heaven.

Butter and dark muscovado sugar, turns from this, to...
...this, under the 'Planetary Mixing Action' (according to KitchenAid's manual) of the twisty beater. Then upon addition of peanut butter,
creamy swirls of fudge-like peanut butter batter presents.
The addition of all purpose flour and Ghirardelli chocolate chips changes fudge to a brown specked landscape
Then it is clockwork from here on. Roll, press, bake, roll press, bake, roll, press, bake.
Serve on plate for some fancy afternoon tea action or
as comfort food in your mother's 30 year old cookie jar.

These turned out pleasant and its rich buttery flavour will fix any rabid peanut butter craving. I realised that in order to appreciate the true flavour of a biscuit, it is imperative to let it cool completely before eating, rather than tasting them in less then their full glory and scalding your tongue in the process. All in all, they were fun to make and the standing mixer really makes the process of beating and mixing effortless. Thank you pistachio!

Useless Nugget

According to a 'Animals have Sex!' book in Kinokuniya:

Giraffes have penises that are 5 metres is length, Elephants have 4 metre long ones, but elephants have larger girths.

I think elephants win.

Theatrics

Manson's Site has been given a complete overhaul eversince the demise of his much anticipated film Phantasmagoria. I like, very much, for obvious reasons. It is very nice.

The official music video for his new track 'Heart-Shaped Glasses (When the Heart Guides the Hand)' can be watched HERE. Please be warned that it is NOT SAFE FOR WORK (Yes I do not want to be responsible for superiors peering over your shoulder accusing you of watching porn -Sorry hendri!) and frankly his canoodling with 19 year old Evan Rachel Wood makes me sick. Poor Dita. I can almost feel their dirty lust permeating across my screen. Rancid. The entire sequence with the mock blood is a tad trite Track is alright, music's good, though you could take the lyrics and use it together with some trashy pop track and I think it will work too. His earlier videos are still my favourites. Pure genius.

Public Service Announcement

Christine just alerted me that the comment function on Sideshowjo only allows people with google accounts to comment, resulting in her being unable to do so. I've ammended the comment function to allow everyone to comment now. Thank you

Evolution

There was a group discussion about evolution recently and that night, I went home feeling unsettled and bothered. Having been in the science stream for half my life and having taken up tertiary units on genetics and biochemistry did little prod me to question about creation and evolution. I read of scientists who have become fierce atheists in the course of their research and work, case in point would be Richard Dawkins and others who manage to marry the concept of christianity and science. What is my stand? Well I've always believed that there is a God. There exists loopholes in science regarding evolution and the creation of earth/the universe, it still cannot be proven beyond reasonable doubt that God and the concept of christianity is a fallacy. I believe that certain roman catholic traditions have been fabricated by men and that through history, christianity was politicized by leaders in order to gain control and power over their people. I've been force fed Roman Catholic dogma since I was a child (not that I paid any attention, really) and have not questioned my faith much, and like the majority of most born catholics, do not know the bible well. I've been on a journey of discovery trying to understand my faith and take a stand on what I truly believe in. I'm not sure if I'm ready to read any of Dawkin's or Darwin's books but I am very tempted. Perhaps it is imperative to really hunker down and read and understand the bible first and foremost before I even touch on things that try and debunk it.

Zeng Fanzhi

It has been a long while since I have seen artwork that takes my breath away. I do not proclaim to be a connoisseur in fine art or pretend to know every nuance and technique, but I do however appreciate good art (good is also subjective) and artists that challenge convention with their own God given style and talent. I look forward to the day when I will earn enough to own all the pieces I've lusted after for so long. Sonny Liew, who I have the privilege to call friend is an artist who's talent and work amazes me along with Mark Ryden and Manson's watercolours.

Over the weekend we made it down to see Zeng Fanzhi's exhibition because I'd read a bit about it in the newspaper and how he drew inspiration from the hospital down the street from where he lived and from MEAT. Good enough for me! We went in not knowing what to expect but were so completely floored by this man's talent and self developed technique, coupled with the odd political commentary here and there. His seemingly random, but I'm sure calculated and deliberate crazy paint streaks forces you to look at portraiture a different way, and gives it a somewhat contemporary twist. One wonders how he could bring himself to smudge and seemingly deconstruct a piece that obviously took painstaking weeks or months even to complete but an end result that is beyond your imagination.

I particularly loved the 'Mask' as well as the 'Meat' series, though attempts to find some samples online proved futile as there isn't very much of his artwork that has been uploaded. So if you are wondering what to do one of these lazy weekends, Zeng Fanzhi's exhibition is on at the Singapore Art Museum until the 3rd of June, I think you'll enjoy it, we throughly did.

England Circa 1994
This is the picture of us in all our dorky glory that I've had on my shelf since 1994, you've not moved since. Thank you friend, for everything. Even the 10 years we were apart. Looking forward to your return.