So Long

This is my most favourite piece of jewellery.
It is made out of cement and steel and has the word HUMANITY embossed on top.

I often wax lyrical about what the ring means to me, trying my best to make some philosophical sense. It is what is it and so much more.

Humanity set in concrete.
Perfect from the onset.
Cracks and lines forming over time.
Physically- expansion and contraction.
Metaphysically- flaws and weaknesses.
No two rings are ever alike,
concrete darkening over time,
Humanity forming its character.
Everchanging, ever flawed,
but distinct
and beautiful.


Three years ago, I lost my faith in humanity, but maintained a sliver of hope, that one day, I would once again remember why it was I loved people and their flaws. I am slowly healing, remembering. This space has seen me though the tail end of a second degree and the beginning of a second major career change. I have grown since starting here, weathered, loved, lost, reclused, opened, evolved. I never quite knew what direction I wanted to take with this blog, probably a clear indication of my state of mind, transient and fleeting.

Scared as I may be, I have worked long and hard to arrive at this juncture in my life, for medical school, for the promise it holds, for one day being able to do more than be a bystander when a friend's grandfather-in-law has a heart attack, for being able to eventually learn the skills to heal, to cure and provide comfort, relief. I am moving because I no longer embody certain elements of who I interpreted as sideshowjo back in January 2007, I took control of my life and took steps to fulfill my childhood dream, I may have finally found my calling, possibly, at long last.

It is fitting that this should be my last post here at sideshowjo. I hold the changing face of humanity in my hands, no matter how flawed or dark it may be, I look upon it with fondness and hope, that one day, I can contribute to its changing facets and hopefully, artfully craft it and shape it for the better.

I wish you all well, and I thank the few of you who have come by every so often, your encouragement and words of wisdom will not be forgotten.

Thank you, and goodbye.

What a ride it has been, what a ride.

Lemons

Lemon tarts
Lemon frosting
Lemon cakes
Lemonade
Lemon curd
Lemon sweets

I cannot get enough of the tangy goodness, even writing about it is making me reflex salivate.

Need
Lemon
Fix
Now.

Grandma

Public toilets were extremely difficult to come by in Prague and I was told, in most of Europe. It costs about 1 SGD for a visit and generally have old ladies minding the entrances.

News!

I am finding it very difficult to eloquently express the stew of emotions I am feeling at the moment but I think one can pretty much surmise the wreck that I am from the first page of this letter.

I am oscillating between squealing like a banshee on crack and crumbling like bits on a cookie tower sundae.

Elated and heart broken.
Relieved and scared out of my mind.

After some soul searching, have decided to send off the acceptance, along with the big fat mutherf**ing bank draft. For the love of God! Does it cost that much to learn how to insert IVs and administer paracetamol? Soon you will all be barraged with useless medical school stories and the various methodical methods of shooting up caffeine and eventually, painless suicide. The joy!

All systems go from here

Bring on the junk!

I just polished off a large packet of Tao Kay Noi and three packets of Pocky crunch alongside the sarcasm of Dr. House. Mother superior is out of town with daddy-o in tow, their departure heralds the availability of EVIL WHITE BREAD, EVIL WHITE RICE, EVIL FULL FAT MILK and copious amounts of snacks. Ahhhhh the smell of cheezel dust crusted fingers when I wake in the morning brings such delight. Two glorious weeks of junk and living in my own filth.

PS: I really miss the resident fat cat that used to roam our estate in search of his next snack. He was such a comforting sight. Where are you cat?

Gobbledigook by Sigur Rós

Joyous reckless abandon! Not to mention lots of nekkidness and touching. Nyum Nyum. Still daunted by the prospect of attending the Latitude Festival in Suffolk alone come July, but for Sigur Ros, I will crawl out of my shell.

For free streaming of their new album head to sigurros.com

Angry Pants

'In the American visa I am not allowed to smile. I look angry in the picture. I now know why all those terrorist pictures on tv always show them looking disgruntled.'

-Joshua

Sigur Ros the cause

The artwork of their new album and their new tracks encapsulates where I am at this point of my life, seems like their musical growth and development is congruent with the story of my life, either that or the scary obsessed fan in me is speaking! (She’s got crazy eyes!)

June

I cut my hair, getting rid of the extra weight, in many ways (No, that does not include losing 20 pounds)

I have finally found a character which I can hopefully develop. One day I will stay in a house with my favourite person, our cat and dog and a lawn full of gnomes, having built my empire with said character. Daikon Man, make way!

I also have a new bicycle and am enjoying riding it very much, yes, it has a basket and a bell.

I miss my kinder self, back in the days when the smell of humanity was not repugnant.

uh oh take photo

“Are you bringing your Lomo to Bangkok?”

“Ya, but the bastard is temperamental.”

I don’t know what to take with me on holidays these days, not that the options are plenty:

1 old IXUS 500
1 temperamental LOMO LCA
1 panoramic Olympus Filem camera

Back to the whole camera thing, I should just get myself a digital SLR. But the technicalities! f-stop, shutter speed, ISO, aperture priority, Jesus, can’t they just make a simple camera for lazy idiots like myself?

Instead of having to f-stop down or up, replace it with a scale from 1-10, with 10 being ‘Make hole super bigger, let many light in’, 1 being ‘Make hole very small, let little light in’.

Instead of shutter speed, have a dial allowing you to control if you want ‘Open longer!’ or ‘Open shorter!’

What’s with all these fractions and decimal points? INTEGERS people! Integers! Big and small, less and more! Simple!

Okay I know...just have to hunker down and learn it all, yet another thing to learn.

Girl Things

Where can I find a bicycle like this. WHERE!

She makes (what I presume to be) Ray-Bans look like a million bucks.

Photos from The Sartorialist.